Week 6
Byes: Cardinals, Tebows, Chiefs, Chargers, Seahawks and Titans.
Panthers @ Falcons: Falcons 24 Panthers 17: Since the national media continues to drool over the two QB’s in this game the teams decide to let the two QBs decide the game in a one on one competition. The Panthers are excited by this idea until the Falcons win the toss and Matt Ryan gets to pick the type of completion. Ryan chooses a spelling bee.
Eagles @ Washington: Redskins 28 Eagles 17: In a interesting development the mayor of Philadelphia has the street on which the Eagle’s practice facility is located renamed as Elm Street.
49ers @ Lions: Lions 30 49er 20: Dang it sure was a lot easier to come up with funny things to say about the Lions when they had Matt Millen, were going 0-16 and had naked coaches going for fast food .
Jaguars @ Steelers: Steelers 28 Jaguars 13: After hearing that Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger threw for 5 touchdowns after wearing a boot in practice the previous week, Jaguar QB Blaine Gabbert tries his version of the practice technique. Unfortunately, practicing in stiletto heels fail to provide the same result.
Vikings @ Bears: Bears 20 Vikings 13: In a game that fea.....oops, too early to pick this game.
Bills @ Giants: Bills 30 Giants 17: After the game Giants officials try to sign Curtis Painter’s younger brother to a contract.
Rams @ Packers: Packers 40 Rams 10: Through some creative play calling and roster movers Aaron Rodgers completes passes to 31 different receivers, including Marshall Newhouse, himself, Miley Cyrus and the baby from the e-trade commercials
Colts @ Bengals: Bengals 28 Colts 13: NFL officials begin to suspect that the Colts might not be all that interested in winning this season especially when the back of Curtis Painter’s jersey reads “THIS SPOT RESERVED FOR ANDREW LUCK”
Browns @ Raiders: Raiders 17 Browns 16: In memory of Al Davis the Raiders wear white jumpsuits for the game and score on the last play of the game when Jason Campbell fumbles forward.
Texans @ Ravens: Ravens 20 Texans 13: After the game the Texans admit that their attempt to follow the Packers template to success from last year has not worked yet. One official admits “We thought getting Foster, Johnson and Williams hurt would be enough, but I guess we need to get a few more players injured?
Vikings @ Bears: Bears 20 Vikings 13: The Vikings show....oops, not yet.
Saints @ Buccaneers: Saints 35 Buccaneers 7: After the game, Buccaneer quarterback admits he hasn’t been working as hard this season, but he has broken his high score in Angry birds five times in the last month.
Cowboys @ Patriots: Patriots 40 Cowboy 17: Tony Romo throws 5 interceptions and fumbles 2 times. After the game, Cowboy owner Jerry Jones gives Romo a vote of confidence saying Romo is doing the best for him of any quarterback in recent memory. Jones then calls his offshore bookie and puts 5 grand down on next week’s opponent.
Vikings @ Bears: Bears 20 Vikings 13: After the game, Bear offensive coordinator Mike Martz admits that he really doesn’t like running the offense the way he does, putting the QB in danger all the time, but since he can’t stand Jay Cutler, he will continue to run that offense. In a related story, the Vikings attempt to trade for Martz so he can coordinate the offense for Donovan McNabb.
Dolphins @ Jets: Dolphins 24 Jets 16: After David Gerrard refuses to sign with the Dolphins, Miami signs Dan Marino to play quarterback. Marino throws for 3 touchdowns and leads the Dolphins to victory. However, Marino retires after the game because the post game celebration meal puts him over his Jenny Craig point allowance for the week.
Original Post
