(Here is a 2nd installment....don't know if I can keep it up....don't know if anyone cares whether I do or not. Some of these games are really tough to come up with something for........If you anything better....please share.)
Chiefs @ Lions: Lions 20 Chiefs 3: Lions continue their newfound winning ways as they dominate the Chiefs. The only drawback to the teams new found success is the presence of a homeless Matt Millen outside of the stadium bearing a sign “Will draft a wide receiver for food”.
Ravens @ Titan: Ravens 32 Titans 13: Ravens sack Titan QB Matt Hasselback 5 times, intercept 3 passes and force 4 fumbles in dominant victory. Hasselback calls Steeler QB Ben Roethlesberger after the game for some sympathy. However the call is intercepted by Ed Reed and returned for a TD.
Browns @ Colts: Browns 30 Colts 13: The trend of blowout games continues this weekend as the Browns destroy the Colts. The Browns admit they could have run the score up but they felt sorry for the Colts and their long long run of poor performances. In a related story, Peyton Manning debuts new commercials for a pain medicine, a neck brace, a law suit attorney and depression medicine.
Raiders @ Bills: Bills 24 Raiders 10: Ryan Fitzpatrick continues to play well as the Bills win easily over the Raiders. After the game, Raider owner Al Davis announces plans to move the Raiders to Buffalo next season because the colder weather will help to keep him from decomposing.
Buccaneers @ Vikings: Buccaneers 25 Vikings 10: The Viking offense suffers greatly as Adrian Peterson, the recipient of a recent contract extension, has a terrible game. Four fumbles, multiple plays where he is lined up wrong and many mental errors are part of his terrible performance. Late in the third quarter Peterson is seen on the Viking bench eating Cheetos. After the game the Vikings admit to typographical error which put an extraneous comma in Peterson’s contract making him the highest, paid runningback in the NFL.
Bears @ Saints: Saints 24 Bears 14: The Bears offense fails to perform at the same level it did against Atlanta in week 1. Jay Cutler throws 3 redzone interceptions and after the game admits that last week he played the game still under the influence of a hypnotist he had seen the night before. Cutler refuses to see that hypnotist again despite the improvement of his game because he is too embarrassed about clucking like a chicken in the huddle.
Jaguars @ Jets: Jaguars 24 Jets 20: Jets lose the game as their head coach Rex Ryan makes a number of strange decisions and misuse of personnel. After the game it is revealed that the Jet coach this game was actually Rob Ryan who had traded places with Rex this week in an extravagant plan to get their recently separated parents back together.
Seahawks @ Steelers: Seahawks 24 Steelers 10: This game comes down to which team has the best quarterback.
Cardinals @ Redskins: Cardinals 77 Redskins 70: Cardinals win on the last play of the game when they get their 11th kick return touchdown of the game.
Packers @ Panthers: Packers 35 Panthers 17: Things do not go nearly as well for Cam Newton in this game. He completes less than 30% of his passes, throws 3 interceptions and after the game finds out (the hard way) that sniffing super glue does not give you the ability to fly.
Cowboys @ 49ers: 49ers 10 Cowboys 7: During the game Jerry Jones orders a steak and gets one that is undercooked and dropped by the waiter multiple times. Later he says its the best steak he’s ever had. During the cab ride home the cab driver runs a stop light and crashes into a hotdog cart sending the cab rolling through the air. Jerry Jones says its the best cab ride he’s ever had. Later Jones is heard to comment on his new padded cell saying its the best room he’s ever stayed in.
Chargers @ Patriots: Patriots 50 Chargers 12: Tom Brady passes for 635 yards and 7 TD’s including a 89 yard TD pass to Wes Welker 13 minutes after the game ends.
Bengals @ Broncos: Bengals 20 Broncos 13: Bronco fans chant for Tim Tebow to be put into the game for the entire first half. Shortly after Tebow is put in the game to start the second half the Bronco fans start chanting for Barrabas. (I actually think that is almost funny on a couple of levels)
Texans @ Dolphins: Houston 31 Miami 17: The Texans win the game when Matt Shuab passes for 374 yards against Miami. Tom Brady also passes for an addition 238 yards against Miami this week.
Eagles @ Falcons: Falcons 28 Eagles 14: Michael Vick returns to his former stomping ground only to find that there is not a lot of love for him in the ATL. Well there is, but it costs a lot of money and is against the law.
Rams @ Giants: Rams 48 Giants 45: In a game featuring two teams with a lot of injuries both teams agree to play 2 hand touch football for the game. The Giants would have won too, except the Rams were able to pull of a double reverse center pass late in the lunch period recess.
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