Sorry...nothing really jumped out at me this week. I could come up with millions of good lines about the Viking game...but that's about it. Maybe I should have picked the Viking game 16 times.
Panthers @ Bears: Panthers 10 Bears 7: The SCORE 670 post game show is nominated for a Toni award for best comedy.
Bills @ Bengals: Bengals 24 Bills 13: If only that genie had granted Ryan Fitzpatrick four wishes.
Titans @ Browns: Titans 20 Browns 13: Titans running back Chris Johnson finally breaks out of his slump, showing the speed and burst that made him successful the last few years. After the game, Johnson explains that his return to normal was probably because he quit playing with his wallet in his pocket.
Lions @ Cowboys: Lions 35 Cowboys 33: Eleven field goals just aren’t quite enough as the Lions beat the Cowboys on 5 Calvin Johnson touchdown receptions.
Steelers @ Texans: Texans 30 Steelers 20: Texans’ QB Matt Schuab not only passes for 350 yards and 3 TD’s but he also takes on all comers in a sports trivia competition.
Saints @ Jaguars:Saints 28 Jaguars 10: Jaguars suffer greatly when running back Maurice Jones-Drew is arrested on the team bus for not having a proper booster seat.
Vikings @ Chiefs: Vikings 24 Chiefs 3: Viking head coach Leslie Frazier announces that the Vikings have decided suspend the practice of a half-time meal of turkey and Nyquil. Chief head coach Todd Haley breaks into the Viking locker room and drinks all of the Nyquil after the game.
49ers @ Eagles: 49ers 7 Eagles 24: Michael Vick complains to the officials about members of the 49ers touching him during pre-game hand shakes.
Redskins @ Rams: Rams 20 Redskins 11: The Rams win this historic game. It is the first game ever played in the NFL with absolutely no interesting (or remotely humorous) story line associated with it.
Giants @ Cardinals: Cardinals 28 Giants 13: With the NFL cracking down on faking injuries the Giants have to go to plan B. Justin Tuck brings a note saying he is allowed to take extra time between plays signed by Justin’s Mom. Antrel Rolle keeps raising his hand before plays going “Ohhh Ohhhh Ohhhh”. And Mr. Kotter tells long story jokes about made up uncles.
Falcons @ Seahawks: Falcons 40 Seahawks 21: Seahawks coach Pete Carroll admits that much of his pre-game prep time was spent doing his second job as a realtor.
Broncos @ Packers: Packers 18 Broncos 17: The game is a lot tighter than most expected especially when Greg Jennings goes without a catch. Mike McCarthy explains after the game that in week 1 James Jones the one chosen to not be passed to, in week 2 it was Jordy Nelson and week 3 was Donald Driver. McCarthy comments “You think this game was tough, just wait a few weeks till its Aaron Rodgers turn not to get the ball.” Lots of delay of game penalties.
Patriots @ Raiders: Patriots 24 Raiders 22: Raiders think they have a game winning fumble recovery late in the game but officials reverse the call giving the ball back to the Patriots who kick a late game winning field goal. Officials explain that since the Patriots had lost the game last week they deserved a break this week. The officials refer to it as the luck rule.
Dolphins @ Chargers: Chargers 24 Dolphins 7: Dolphin players have already lost interest in this season as is exemplified by the camera catching QB’s Chad Henne and Matt Moore playing Magic the Gathering during the 3rd quarter.
Jets @ Ravens: Ravens 24 Jets 20: To make matters worse, after the loss Jets QB Mark Sanchez holds a post-game press conference to announce that he is leaving the Jets to become a regular on Dora the Explorer.
Colts at Buccaneers: Buccaneers 27 Colts 10: In an attempt to make Kerry Collins more of a replacement for Peyton Manning the Colts get NBC to let Collins guest host Saturday Night Live...it sucks.
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