Well, I kept it up for one more week
Week 5
Byes: Ravens, Browns, Cowboys, Miami, St. Louis, Washington: All these teams do not play this week, though Tony Romo does throw 2 interceptions.
Eagles @ Bills: Bills 34 Eagles 31: Eagle coach Andy Reid is shocked by the Eagles problems. “I just don’t get it” Reid exclaims “I’ve raised this team like my sons”
Saints @ Panthers: Saints 54 Panthers 48: Both QB’s pass for over 600 yards. After the game the NFL seriously considers retracting the rule change that forces defenders to close their eyes and count to “5 Mississippi” at the start of each play.
Raiders @ Texans: Raiders 21 Texans 17: Raiders win the game and Demarcus Russell serves the team bus at the McDonald’s drive-up afterwards.
Chiefs @ Colts: Colts 22 Chiefs 21: Colt and Chief executives have teamed up to try and create a device similar to the one used in the movies Men In Black in hope to erase the fans memories of this season. They have only had partial success so far, erasing most of their players memories of how to play football.
Bengals @ Jaguars: Bengals 66 Jaguars 45: You think last weekends field painting was bad...this week the Jaguars paint and number the field east to west instead of north to south. Bengals take advantage of the shortened field more often then the Jaguars. After the game, the Florida Education Commissions admits they didn’t see anything wrong with the field.
Cardinals @ Vikings: Cardinals 28 Vikings 10: Before the game, Viking QB Donovan McNabb is arrested under suspicion that he has broken into a number of local retail stores. However he is released and investigators explain “He might have broken into the Wal-mart, but having watched him play all year, we are positive there is no way he hit the Target.”
Seahawks @ Giants: Giants 24 Seahawks 16: To honor Steve Jobs, Seahawk owner Paul Allen has his team wear new uniforms with the numbers in binary. The officials have trouble all day deciding if 1001001 is an eligible receiver or not.
Titans @ Steelers: Titans 31 Steelers 17: Titan QB Matt Hassleback continues his fine play. He comments after the game “Its just nice to know that I can still play the game at a high level, at least I know I’ve got a couple of years before I lose my skills and have to pay for the Vikings.”
Buccaneers @ 49ers: Buccaneers 30 49ers 14: Buccaneers actually have greater fan support than the 49ers in this game as the team wisely selects this week to wear their throwback uniforms from the 80’s.
Chargers @ Broncos: Chargers 27 Broncos 13: Bronco fans take their push to get Tim Tebow to play to a different level. After the game, fans hand out flyers, put up yard signs and a local business offers head coach John Fox discounts on dry cleaning.
Jets @ Patriots: Patriots 28 Jets 10: Jets coach Rex Ryan admits he probably should have spent more time figuring out how to get his team to beat the Patriots instead of lamenting how nobody else beats them. In a related story, Buffalo coach Chan Gailey calls up Ryan and asks for his fruit basket.
Packers @ Falcons: Packers 37 Falcons 28: Falcon QB Matt Ryan says after the game, I wish we hadn’t spent the last two training camps playing with little kids.
Bears @ Lions: Lions 27 Bears 19: After the game, ESPN awards the Lions an ESPY as team of the decade for the week of October 4-10, breaking the New England Patriots run of 247 consecutive weeks as team of the decade. Lion defensive lineman Ndomican Suh is overjoyed with the award, throwing it down and breaking it after the ceremony.
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