Week 7
Byes: Bills, Bengals, Patriots, Giants, Eagles, 49ers, Apparently my fantasy football team
Redskins @ Panthers: Redskins 30 Panthers 27: You think Rex Grossman was surprised when he was benched after a four interception game last week. You should see his reaction when he learns that John Beck also married his wife.
Seahawks @ Browns: Seahawks 20 Browns 10: After the game the Browns disclose that Running Back Peyton Hillis originally suffered his hamstring injury while using copies of Madden 2011 instead of thigh pads.
Falcons @ Lions: Falcons 25 Lions 21: Question form a Detroit High School math exam; “32 NFL coaches have a meeting, each coach shakes hands with every other coach, how many total hand shakes will there be?” Answer: “It’s a trick question because a fist fight will break out"
Broncos @ Dolphins: Dolphins 23 Broncos 16: Tim Tebow makes his NFL starting QB debut. The game does not go well, but Harold Camping is heard to say “See, I told you so” while watching highlights of the game.
Chargers @ Jets: Chargers 45 Jets 10: After the game, Rex Ryan says that if he had coached the Chargers they would have won by 40.
Bears @ Buccaneers in London: Bears 20 Buccaneers 17: Bears win a disjointed game that features lots of alignment errors by both teams. The tight-ends keep lining up on the wrong side of the formation.
Texans @ Titans: Titans 28 Texans 23: I watched ESPN for 4 hours and they didn’t give me anything to use for this game. Of course it was fly fishing that I watched.
Steelers @ Cardinals: Steelers 30 Cardinals 13: Arizona’s only highlight occurs when a fan dressed as an official comes on the field then strips and streaks down the middle of the field. It is worth noting that the call he made before his prank was upheld by replay.
Chiefs @ Raiders: Raiders 20 Chiefs 16: Raider coach Hue Jackman continues to lead the Raiders through a magical season. Who would have guessed an actor could do this well as a football coach....though I guess he was a wolverine.
Rams @ Cowboys: Cowboys 20 Rams 13: In a shocking move, Cowboy coach Jason Garrett has quarter back Tony Romo play the entire game with a leash around his neck. When asked if he was worried about defending players being able to grab the leash and tackle Romo, Garrett replied “No, its a short leash.”
Packers @ Vikings: Packers 28 Vikings 3: After a lackluster performance by the new Viking QB team executives admit they didn’t really have his that high on their draft board but picked him simply because he has a cool name that can be used in lots of puns. The GM admits “We pondered the situation for quite a while before deciding to do the Christian thing.”
Colts @ Saints: Saints 30 Colts 13: When the entire Saint offensive line decides to retire because they “just don’t feel it” the Saints replace them with the cast of Jersey Shore. They definitely “feel it” and the results are devastating.
Ravens @ Jaguars: Ravens 28 Jaguars 10...or at least we think that was the final score, since every TV in the country is turned off of this game by the middlesof the third quarter.
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