Worst shit you ever drank

Skol!

Henry posted:

So I was reading about the ongoing trainwreck that is Chicago Bears FA and ran into a comment about Malort.  *Shiver*  Here's a breakdown and hilarity derived hence.

Things you didn't know (or want to know) about Malort

Fan slogans:

• Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
• Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
• Malort, tonight's the night you fight your dad.
• Malort, the Champagne of pain.
• Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
• Drink Malort, it's easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
• Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
• Malort, these pants aren't going to sh** themselves.

I've got a bottle of Malort sitting on the top of my bar right now. It's for when I want everyone to go home. They get a shot and that's that. 

That is some hellaciously bitter shit. 

Kirkland LIght Beer from Costco.  Even a bunch of drunks wouldn't touch it.

Maynard posted:

Kirkland LIght Beer from Costco.  Even a bunch of drunks wouldn't touch it.

That is the worst beer ever.....ever.

Red, White and Blue bad?  Black Label bad?

I don't remember much,, but yaeger bombs...and tequila whatevers...what a night.

Henry posted:

Red, White and Blue bad?  Black Label bad?

Not even in the same ballpark.   RWB was not bad as an after lawnmowing, hot humid July afternoon beer.  I bought a 12er of Costco around Christmas, still have some.  Can't give it away.  

Cutty Sark

Sloe Gin.

First drunk at 15....last time I had it.

The worst thing I've drunk is a friends homemade Kombucha.  Something happened to it. Didn't ferment properly? Over fermented? Something bacteria got in it? A ferret died in it, released it's bowels, and then the container sat in the sun for 27 weeks? DUNNO but it tasted how I imagine the toilet "water" from a porta-potty at Lambeau after a Bears game would taste.  I was never a huge fan of Kombucha, it's *fine* I suppose, but man I cannot drink any Kombucha without having very vivid memories of that come screaming back to me.

And, yeah, Malort is pretty bad, but I like very bitter booze, so doesn't bother me nearly as much as it does some people. 

Blair Kiel posted:

Sloe Gin.

First drunk at 15....last time I had it.

Has any adult ever had sloe gin?  Has every teenager?

Timpranillo posted:

The worst thing I've drunk is a friends homemade Kombucha.  Something happened to it. Didn't ferment properly? Over fermented? Something bacteria got in it? A ferret died in it, released it's bowels, and then the container sat in the sun for 27 weeks? DUNNO but it tasted how I imagine the toilet "water" from a porta-potty at Lambeau after a Bears game would taste.  I was never a huge fan of Kombucha, it's *fine* I suppose, but man I cannot drink any Kombucha without having very vivid memories of that come screaming back to me.

And, yeah, Malort is pretty bad, but I like very bitter booze, so doesn't bother me nearly as much as it does some people. 

The more I read about Malort the more I'm intrigued by it.  The fact Malort is considered a medicinal alcohol and was sold through Prohibition makes my inner curious cat take notice.

My one and only encounter with Malort was at the end of an epically epic drunken Chicago bender where Malort landed the final punch.  I remember bitter then I woke up in Poland.

It's settled. When the bars re-open here in Illinois I'm gonna round up my more adventurous friends and celebrate with a shot of Malort.   My regular place has it according to the Malort map.

Pikes Peak posted:

Blair Kiel posted:

Sloe Gin.

First drunk at 15....last time I had it.

Has any adult ever had sloe gin?  Has every teenager?

Yes. Good sloe gin can be very nice in drinks, especially with sparkling water. It’s like almost all liquors. If you drink the cheapest and shittiest version straight out of a bottle specifically to get drunk, yeah it’s not a great experience that you want to revisit.

I’m not slugging back shots of it, but Sloe Gin appropriately used can be nice. 

If by 'appropriate use' you mean getting a cheerleader drunk, then yes.

That’s what 2 liter bottles of Sun Country Wine Coolers were for.  Helps if the cheerleaders don’t drink you under the table.   

I think every kid growing up in Wisconsin tried these vile beers:

Red, White, and Blue, Special Export, Rhinelander, Old Style, and Kingsbury.

I love a good Tequila but there is one that I would tell no one to ever touch and that is El Toro.  I spent two days after my 20th birthday down for the count after I drank that crap.

The Heckler posted:

I think every kid growing up in Wisconsin tried these vile beers:

Red, White, and Blue, Special Export, Rhinelander, Old Style, and Kingsbury.

I love a good Tequila but there is one that I would tell no one to ever touch and that is El Toro.  I spent two days after my 20th birthday down for the count after I drank that crap.

 

 

Other beers from Wisconsin I have tried besides the "vile" ones Heckler listed: Fitgers, Fox Head, Wisconsin Premium, Chippewa Pride, Breunigs, to name a few. Old Style was the beer of choice for me and my friends back in the '80s. We would get "kraeusened" all the time from it. But, if I wanted something really "vile," I'd say it was MD2020. A cheap wine that you could polish silverware with. I hate to think of what Mad Dog did, to shorten my existence! Maybe it extended it!  Who knows?

Oh God, Mad Dog. 

Played on a softball team sponsored by a beer distributor back in the day.  Made us wear Mad Dog hats and gave us free Mad Dog beer for after games.  We'd drink a case of it and then switch to something smoother, like turpentine... 

so another bad beer was Schmidts.  We called it animal beer because it had the cans with pictures wild animals such as bears, deer, pheasants, etc.  No bid deal right?  well we had a game called animal beer and how it was played is if two people reached in the case and you got the same animal you had to shotgun it together.  If any of you had Schmidts back in the 80s you know this is just a horrible idea.

Schaefer's beer was some nasty stuff as well.  But it was really cheap for those who didn't have enough money to spend on Milwaukee's Best.

Some bad ones I recall...Pearl, Hamm's, Schlitz, Goebel, Colt 45 and Hudepohl.  Dad always drank fired-brewed Stroh's.  A couple popular cheaper beers from my college days were Mickey's Big Mouth, Genesee cream ale and Little Kings.  

People's beer was the big seller in Dodge County, I still remember going with my dad to the beer depot (no liquor stores then in small town Wisconsin) to pick up a case for the week. The dads would have a couple of cold ones while listening to the Braves, we kids would hang out with a orange pop.  

This is a fun site for you Fox River Valley guys.

http://oshkoshbeer.blogspot.com

Packy posted:

Some bad ones I recall...Pearl, Hamm's, Schlitz, Goebel, Colt 45 and Hudepohl.  Dad always drank fired-brewed Stroh's.  A couple popular cheaper beers from my college days were Mickey's Big Mouth, Genesee cream ale and Little Kings.  

Oh god Strohs.  So my dad when we were working on our farm would always have a 12 pack of it on the back of the tractor.  It wasn't bad enough he drank Strohs but he drank it warm and he chugs it like he was drinking gatorade.  That still haunts me.

Anyone here ever drink Greasydick?

I once drank snake bile in a Vietnamese herbalist shop with the promise of rock hard results.

It tasted like fishy spit with a hint of sweaty jock strap and for added flavor they tea-bagged a used tampon in it. 

It wasn’t worth it.

Henry posted:

Red, White and Blue bad?  Black Label bad?

RWB is Dom Perignon compared to Black Label.

BL is the absolute worst shit ever -- I'd rather drink Cuervo...and I never touch that shit 

Pikes Peak posted:

Blair Kiel posted:

Sloe Gin.

First drunk at 15....last time I had it.

Has any adult ever had sloe gin?  Has every teenager?

Sure.....Sloe, comfortable screw.

Sloe Gin, Southern Comfort, OJ & your favorite Vodka.

Am I the only one who remembers Drewry’s.  I swear you could feel the tiny pieces of hops (at least I told myself they were pieces of hops) slide down your throat.  We used to joke that Drewry’s was a beer and a snack.

Boris posted:

Henry posted:

Red, White and Blue bad?  Black Label bad?

RWB is Dom Perignon compared to Black Label.

BL is the absolute worst shit ever -- I'd rather drink Cuervo...and I never touch that shit 

Hey Mabel, Black Label
We used to get 3 quarts for a buck back around '59.
(and gasoline was 30 cents a gallon)
Didn't care about taste, it did the trick.

Pikes Peak posted:

People's beer was the big seller in Dodge County, I still remember going with my dad to the beer depot (no liquor stores then in small town Wisconsin) to pick up a case for the week. The dads would have a couple of cold ones while listening to the Braves, we kids would hang out with a orange pop.  

This is a fun site for you Fox River Valley guys.

http://oshkoshbeer.blogspot.com

When my mom went shopping in Beaver Dam my dad would have her pick up a case of Kingsbury (remember those cases of returnable bottles?) at that place on South Spring Street. Liquor in front, beer towards the back. I guess when you've been farming out in the hot sun, all you care about is cold. All my young taste buds cared about was begging for a "sip" from his bottle.

QuietOne posted:

Pikes Peak posted:

People's beer was the big seller in Dodge County, I still remember going with my dad to the beer depot (no liquor stores then in small town Wisconsin) to pick up a case for the week. The dads would have a couple of cold ones while listening to the Braves, we kids would hang out with a orange pop.  

This is a fun site for you Fox River Valley guys.

http://oshkoshbeer.blogspot.com

When my mom went shopping in Beaver Dam my dad would have her pick up a case of Kingsbury (remember those cases of returnable bottles?) at that place on South Spring Street. Liquor in front, beer towards the back. I guess when you've been farming out in the hot sun, all you care about is cold. All my young taste buds cared about was begging for a "sip" from his bottle.

My dad got the same. I seemed to recall him drinking precisely two bottles after a day of work.

Boris posted:

Sure.....Sloe, comfortable screw.

add a splash of Galliano for a Sloe comfortable screw against a wall

One year my dad had a batch of wine that didn't turn out very well. Probably too many wild grapes in proportion to the domestic.