Al on Science

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

quote:
(3/27/2013 04:44:00 PM) - Al

I just realized if you take the recommended adult dosage of children's cough medicine (mmm, grape) a bottle lasts about one day.

Put a sweatband on my head and spray some sweat stains on my T shirt, I might fool some into thinking its Gatorade...

No wonder our guru Al is always home in the middle of the day - the SOB is grippin and sippin the cough syrup. Now THAT'S freedom, my fellow patriots.

Perhaps we should start another thread on this - Al Huffs Paint and Sniffs Glue.

3/28/139:55 AM

HenryYou rang?

I'm guessing Al doesn't have to fake the sweat stains.

3/28/139:58 AM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

Depends on how many cans of pie filling he's had that day.

3/28/139:59 AM

MN SnowBongMember

This can't all be the work of one person.

Please tell me "Al" is actually a group of people, a consortium of almost-thoughts. I visualize them like the crew on TMZ. I mean, Harvey can't come up with all that crap himself; he needs help to come up with that volume of...umm..."work".

3/28/1310:02 AM

HenryYou rang?

Can you sweat high fructose corn syrup? Laundry must be a challenge.

3/28/1310:04 AM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

Not with your basic lard soap:

You can use it to clean the Boo Berry stains out of your only collared shirt and then deep fry some krab/cheese/hot pockets for a snack with it when you're done.

Once again, that's freedom.

And yes, MNSnowBong - this is the work of one person - one true patriot who isn't afraid to be known as such. Having a group of people all doing this would not only lower the remarkable profundity ratio we're seeing, but it would also be Communism - sorta like what the Old Media does along with those morons who go to college.

3/28/1310:13 AM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

quote:
Originally posted by MN SnowBong:
This can't all be the work of one person.

Look no further than right here at home. How could one

possibly post so much moronic material? It has to be the work of multiple people, working in concert to create a mountain of derp.

Nope, just one dedicated patriot.

It-s all it takes.

3/28/1310:16 AM

TimpranilloMember

3/28/1311:02 AM

MN SnowBongMember

It's obvious from looking at him why he holds such a high opinion of himself.

3/28/1311:44 AM

chickenboyTic Toc

quote:
Originally posted by El-Ka-Bong: Look no further than right here at home. How could one possibly post so much moronic material? It has to be the work of multiple people, working in concert to create a mountain of derp.

Let me know if you have some good candidates that didn't make your staff...

3/28/1311:56 AM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

I'm sure there is a point you are trying to make. Can you try not making a moronic post so we could determine what that point is?

I also hope your point isn't to try and derail another thread. The goodwill you have received for introducing us all to your mentor can go away.

3/28/1312:33 PM

chickenboyTic Toc

3/28/1312:42 PM

H5Keyboard Warrior, troll hunter

Just a jerk looking for a circle.

(3/27/2013 04:48:00 PM) - Al

Real topic on Dr. Oz today...what do we know about Jesus' health?

1. It does break the streak of 77 consecutive shows in a row which he said all you need to lose weight is a simple diet plan that includes about 1200 calories a day (with a once weekly "splurge" of 1500).

2. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey were guests, and they produced The Bible, but wow, that's still a stretch.

I would think Dr. Oz includes exercise in his plans. Does falling down count as exercise?

3/28/1312:51 PM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

Only if a pig like Mila Kunis is underneath you when you to soften your landing.

Stupid commie skinny people.

3/28/131:11 PM

RatPackMember

If Al lands in the forest does anybody hear?

3/28/133:58 PM

HenryYou rang?

Forests are for Nazi Commies.

3/28/134:10 PM

chickenboyTic Toc

quote:
Originally posted by RatPack:
If Al lands in the forest does anybody hear?

I know a couple people who monitor his every "move" so yes.

3/28/134:13 PM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

3/28/134:15 PM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

I didn't know Al Gore did all of that climate research by himself. He probably just got if off the Internet, but since he invented the Internet, it keeps coming back to Al Gore. Damn Commies. USA!

quote:
(5/03/2013 11:00:00 AM) - Al

Al Gore can explain climate down to a tenth of a degree hundreds and thousands of years ago.

This film is made with atoms and is magnified a hundred million times so we can see it. I have no idea how it's made or how they magnify it.

So tell me, which one of us is totally full of crap?

I've missed Al's derp on science. I hope he's been eating OK lately.

5/3/1312:08 PM

Shoeless JoeMember

I'm sure he'll post more when he gets back from the beach, or gets out of his chair, whichever comes first.

5/3/1312:30 PM

H5Keyboard Warrior, troll hunter

Those are either two of the nicest bikini babes Al has never fallen on or the best photo-shop ever.

5/3/131:56 PM

RatPackMember

Thoughts.

5/3/132:28 PM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

I never use 'em, because I enjoy saying "plastic!" in a loud voice and watching green folks wince in agony as I ruin the planet, 1/50th of an ounce of petroleum at a time.

5/3/132:40 PM

HenryYou rang?

I've got odds Al's days on the earth end with him suffocating inside a plastic Golden Corral take out bag.

5/3/133:20 PM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

After falling down in an attempt to avoid making eye contact with a college student.

5/3/133:27 PM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

I agree. I mean, when they found those dinosaur remains recently, they were using shovels that were only weeks old. Duh.

quote:
(5/20/2013 11:00:00 AM) - Al

I'm having trouble accepting this water is a billion years old if it's bubbling up through a mine probably built within the past 150 years.

5/20/1312:13 PM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

quote:
Originally posted by al:

(5/20/2013 12:30:00 PM) - Al

One decade ago, putting on DEET...especially on children, was akin to swimming in your toilet, and was compared to child abuse.

Now...use DEET! If you don't...you should be locked up!

I never stopped wearing it, because I knew full well those insisting it would kill me had a financial incentive to sell creams and sugar water that don't work. There are millions of Africans who would say the same thing about DDT...if they were still alive, having died from malaria. The best we can do is these stupid nets, which work badly, I suppose, until you roll over, or they tear.

Good points all around. We all know al hates bald eagles, so this was simply the next logical step. We also know the things African kids really need is more chemicals applied to them (those damn African kids and their extravagant hot lunches). I can see al applying a healthy layer of deet prior to getting into bed with mrs. al. The hallucinations probably help the entire process pass by quickly.

5/23/137:23 AM

Grave DiggerMember

I'm sure those Africans are still pissed no one is spraying DDT on them. Al needs to send them some Booberry to ease the pain.

5/23/138:53 AM

H5Keyboard Warrior, troll hunter

I might have to put meeting Al in person on my bucket list. No one believes me this guy is real.

5/23/1310:02 AM

Grave DiggerMember

I'm going to start a Twitter account called "Sh*t My Al Says"

5/23/1310:41 AM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

quote:
(5/23/2013 12:08:00 PM) - Al

David emails in this link about CO2 having a cooling effect.

I've said several times much of the climate debate is self importance...people who insist that a quarter or half a degree in the last century is very important, yet the previous centuries, including those with real weather events, are meaningless.

I gotta tell ya, if this is a place (along with inside info from Glenn Beck) where Al gets his science geenyous then I think we're all in for a lot of treats going forward. A sampling of some of the headlines linked from that page:

Chinese herb eradicates cancer in 40 days, says new research

My personal favorite:

Are your children swimming in feces? If you're taking them to public pools, the answer is yes

5/23/1312:24 PM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

If the herb kills you, is it considered that it eradicated the cancer?

5/23/138:30 PM

Timmy!TIMMAAAAYYY!!

quote:
Originally posted by JJSD:
Are your children swimming in feces? If you're taking them to public pools, the answer is yes

That 'headline' is a little over the top, but does have some truth...
As matter of fact, It killed a child

5/24/131:11 AM

TschmackMember

Just spray DEET into the public pools and voila! Problem solved.

The wine and beer snobs would agree

5/24/135:22 AM

tsr86freeMember

I just looked at Al's site, and....wow. It's like Jackass, Cheez Whiz, and a Foghat concert in a blender.

5/24/136:20 AM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

5/24/136:28 AM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

quote:
Originally posted by al:
A red blood cell can travel around your entire body and get back to where it started in less than 20 seconds.

Never underestimate the healing power of the human body.

A lemon bar takes less than 24 hours to pass through the digestive system.

Never underestimate the healing power of the human body.

5/27/1311:51 AM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

$5/pound shrimp from Wal-Mart travels just as quickly through the digestive system as a red blood cell does through the body.

Never underestimate the power of a truly Murcan corporation that feeds us.

5/27/1312:22 PM

JJSDSitzpinkler Schadenfreude

(8/21/2013 02:19:00 PM) - Al

Roast in the slow cooker. I wonder if it's any warmer in there than it is outside...

And none of them stinkin' bones!

I have had a disappointing couple days,

Clearly not my fault, but society's...

my battery died on my car (luckily, our neighbor is a handy guy who runs a body shop locally). He diagnosed it as the battery and not the alternator last night, so I took it in today and he switched it out for me (we let it charge about ten minutes, and it was just enough to turn over and start).

Al sure is a dirty socialist for someone who hates anything but CAPITALISM! GIVE ME FREE MEDICAL ADVICE BLOG READERS! FREE BATTERY MAINTENANCE! CAT-PEE COUCH ALONG THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!

I sat and stood in his shop for about 30-40 minutes, and my freshly washed T shirt was soaked, front and back, when I arrived home.

Stupid skinny people!

Of course, I'm all but positive that was the original battery, so 10-11 years of service is not a bad lifespan. I was told once that hot and cold weather drain batteries, so this latest warm spell likely pushed it over the edge.

FREE MARKET IS ALWAYS RIGHT! SCIENCE IS FOR A-HOLE ELITISTS!

Of course, the weather is no joking matter if you are forced to work outside. Stay hydrated and take breaks, folks. I saw a woman out pulling weeds or something on my way to the shop, and I almost told her to get inside.

Which would have been effective. If an obese tub of crap came up to me telling me to get inside, I wouldn't walk, I'd at least scamper and probably run.

Luckily for her, I realized she has every right to make poor decisions. Mike Bloomberg, I am not.

COMMIES!

8/21/133:30 PM

"We"-Ka-BongYou ungrateful biscuit eating son of a bitch

how the ****ing hell could other people desire to be outside when al wants to be inside.

what the **** people

8/21/133:36 PM

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