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O.A. "Bum" Phillips is one of the greats for one-liners.

There's two kinds of coaches, them that's fired and them that's gonna be fired.

He once said of Earl Campbell: I don't know if he's in a class by himself, but whatever class he's in, it don't take long to call the roll.

On Warren Moons strong arm: That boy could throw a football through a car wash and not get it wet.
"He couldn't spell 'Cat' if you spotted him the 'c' and the 'a'."

Thomas Henderson on Terry Bradshaw

"He's such a perfectionist that if he were married to Dolly Parton he'd expect her to cook."

Don Meredith on Tom Landry

When it's third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time.

Max McGee


anything Art Donovan said
Bum Phillips:
β€œIf I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.”

Ditka:
β€œThe shoulder surgery was a success. The lobotomy failed.” (McMahon's surgery)
β€œWhat’s the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.”

Players:
β€œPeople say I’ll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.” (Craig β€œIronhead” Heyward)
”Ransom notes.” (Alex Karras, on the most profitable type of writing)

Lombardi:
β€œThe dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.”
Two more from John McKay:

"We can't stop the pass or the run. Otherwise, we're in great shape."

"Why did we lose? Well, we didn't block. But we made up for it by not tackling."

Others:

"They're KILLIN' me, Whitey! They're KILLIN' me!" -- Lou Saban

"Bart Starr is as pure a gentleman as you'll ever meet. But on a football field, he'll cut your heart out and show it to you." -- Zeke Bratkowski

"That question will be asked again before it becomes answerable" -- Chuck Noll, on the status of an injured player

"I like my name. Not many people have it." -- Former Rams RB Elvis Zarring Peacock

"Every time you lose, you die a little. Not all of you -- maybe just your liver." -- George Allen

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