Welcome everyone to the Annual Player Selection Meating!! Are you excited about another fun-filled three-day drama-filled event of picking young meatheads, I mean woefully underplayed college STUDENTS, to enter the National Football League? I know I am!
Every year, the draft is full of hope, promise, and AIDS, and this year is no different. We, as fans, are lucky to have Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy at the helm of this team, as they rarely fail in their mission of building a team full of Pakrz People. Who will be this year's Clay Matthews or Derrick Mayes?? There is only one way to find out!! Grab a Bud Lite (promoted) and tune into your favorite NFL channel to watch!!
Per usual, I will be hosting the draft thread as well as threads devoted to individual Packer selections. In addition, a new feature this year will be interactive seminars around the forum featuring your favorite X4 Posters!! This year's sessions include:
Sleeper Prospects with IowaCheese: Ted Thompson is known for taking little-known players with high upside, get the inside tip on who should be in a Packer uniform in 2014! In-depth discussions and scouting reports on: C.J. Fiedorowicz, Christian Kirksey, Anthony Hitchens, James Morris, and more!! Bonus Lecture: Why Chris Borland = Ryan Leaf
The Good ol' Days with FreeSafety: Football historians will love this Socratic discussion of football's glory days with our very own FreeSafety! Join him as he reminisces the glory days of when Bill Bellichek was winning all the time and before anyone knew he was a shameless cheater, when linebackers WEREN'T a bunch of pussies worried about getting a TBI, and when there were only 6 teams in the league (therefore better onfield product with scores of 6-3 in overtime)
Mocking the Draft with Henry: Come to this session to create your own "mock concensus board" with Henry! No knowledge, no reality needed, just a blank draft board and the ability to chuckle merrily with your chums!! Having the Dolphins trade up to the #2 spot to take Anthony Fera?!? What wacky cooky hijinks will YOU come up with?
Race, Society, and Sport with Blair Kiel: An interdisciplinary seminar on the moral and social consciousness that athletic competition plays on society and ethnic culture. Guiding questions probed will include, "Why can't we consider D'Brickashaw Ferguson 'scrappy'?" "Would you let Jordy Nelson or Jermichael Finley bring your daughter home? Why or why not?" and "Just what is a nappy-headed ho?" "Those people" are asked to bring their own leaf blowers.
Statistics and Society with Goalline: Come have fun with probability in this learner-centered simulation! Using your own ESP skills, laws of averages, and prior knowledge, successfully guess when and where the networks will cut to commercial break, and which team will be on the board when they do so! Prizes for the top 3 posters with the highest accurate percentages! (Include lawncare service, car washing, and a 7/11 gift certificate)
Combine Simulation with Pakrz: Ever wanted to find out how meaningless the scouting combine really is? Here's your chance!! Run through all of the infamous exercises that your favorite prospect had to suffer through, with Coach Pakrz as your "hands-on" coach!! Highlights include: The underwear parade, running the 40 shirtless, urine scans, and a complimentary hernia test! No homo.
P.S. In the spirit of the draft, I saved this topic as a "draft" before I published it!! Isn't that just zany??
