Vikings Suck

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What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ****ing dead, kiddo.

I can beat that with 2 words, "Chuck Norris!"

...I have over 300 confirmed kills...

the dead giveaway that he's a top internet tough guy making **** up.  well, not to mention that someone like that wouldn't bother telling you and just kill you if any of it were true.

 

edit: "confirmed kills"

"So if someone tells you they racked up X amount of “confirmed kills” you can blow them off. Or better, ask them how those kills were confirmed and who confirmed them."

You guys. Have some respect for our men in uniform. This hero has 300 confirmed kills...I believe him.

Is he an actor on Walking Dead?

So did they get confirmed before he killed them or after?

I'm still trying to figure out if that was the guy who was for child abuse or against it.

They are both Vikings fans.

Has this been confirmed?

I hate that ChilliJon left us hanging.

 

There was more after all this that included Willie Nelson, Capes, Cyborgs, and Unicorns.

@mauian Wow, your imagination is working OT tonight! That's ok, it's your fantasy...

 

@Morg ..Yawn....nothing more boring than an internet tough guy. Willie Nelson has a fifth degree black belt.

 

New guy, Dinovelvet jumps in here.

 

@mauian 

He was decorated Marine too.

 

(Except that he really wasn't. Sorry. Back to the action)

 

@morg What color were the unicorns?

 

@mauian 

Purple hearts, saved some folks from a plane crash in India.

 

(WTF?!?!?. Again. Sorry)

 

@Morg was he wearing a cape?

 

@morg @ mauian was from a tragic nose picking accident...those cyborgs don't know their own strength. (Dinovelvet)

 

@Morg 

6'3" means nothing if you know where to hit someone. Put a guy on the ground once we called "The human imitation of Pikes Peak".  He was 6'7" 340lbs.

 

@mauian @Morg ..was he a cyborg that worked for a company called Skynet? (Dinovelvet again. Trying to pee on this smoldering mess)

 

@mauian  I see. No wonder child beating comes so natural to you.

 

It seems like Morg or Mauian had to go to bed at this point. Or the warden called lights out. I was sad to see it end. 

 

 

 

Well, they both have the "I am a Dumb Ass" certificate in hand.

The only thing left is the forehead stamp.

I'm sorry.

 

 

Mushroom Stamp on the forehead

Adrian Peterson is a ****ing moron

 

 

that's becoming quite obvious day by day...  that birthday party stuff...  what grown man does something like that?  it's my birthday!!  I wanna ride a camel!!!   maybe the "orange peanut" comment in that bad lip reading thing wasn't even a voice over.

"...I am trained in gorilla warfare..."

Does this mean he will go ape chit on my ass?

Paving the way for a family reunion, no doubt.

@RapSheet: Former #Eagles LB Casey Matthews visited the #Vikings today, source said.

I hope they sign him. He is terrible.

This will put them over the top.

@VikingsPR: The #Vikings have agreed to terms with LB Casey Matthews and S Taylor Mays.

Fredo is a viking, how perfect

Vikes were certain Casey used to play for the Packers.

I remember thinking the world of Mays.  Another instance of where I was wrong.

 

(but he had such an impressive 40 time...)

Here are 2 videos :

The first is Casey Matthews trying to cover Brandon Jacobs

The second is Clay Matthews catching Brandon Jacobs from behind

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAz3-v7kpRc

 

http://www.packers.com/media-c...65-9377-1c7fc3e8151c

Video of Clay running down Jacobs and forcing the fumble has been taken down?!?!?!  Can't find a working link of it anywhere! THIS IS A TRAVESTY!!!! That's one of my favorite plays of GBs final 6 game winning streak. 

 

Clay ran him down from waaaaay behind like a cheetah on a poodle and forced a fumble that somehow refused to go out of bounds even though 4-5 guys were falling all over around it. I do believe Nick Collins finally recovered it. 

 

That Video needs to be found!!!!!!

 

Casey covering Jacobs. Ouch. 

Awesome!

Casey Matthews = a younger AJ Hawk (at Hawk's current skill level).

Vegas win total for 2015 betting:
Minny 6.5= over/under

bridgewaters signature road win was an overtime victory @ Tampa Bay
http://www.pro-football-refere...m/teams/min/2014.htm

Vikings were 0-4 vs top 10 teams and 0-7 vs top 16 teams
http://sagarin.com/sports/nflsend.htm

They went 3-4 after their bye; the only victories coming against Carolina, the lowly jets and the lame duck bears who sat Cutler and surrendered before the game even started.

That victory propelled the vikes to 1-5 vs the NFC north division.

 

Clearly the Vikings Suck

Betting the under?

Viking fans will be quick to point out the 2014 win over/under was 6.5. They won 7. 

 

Skol!

But, but, but, AP didn't play in 2014.

 

 

If Bilgewater can build up his arm strength an Peterson comes back (and isn't a locker room cancer), the Queens may actually have a half-decent team next year. However, if Bilgewater's noodle arm is unchanged and Peterson doesn't come back, I expect them to regress to 5 wins next year.

I remember 2012 when Christian Ponders first full year as the starter saw him put up better numbers than Teddys first year stats as the man. Christian went 10-6 and made the playoffs. The future looked bright. They went and threw cash at Greg Jennings. Adrian just signed a monster deal making him the highest paid RB in NFL history. They had all the makings of an up and coming team!

 

Christian is a backup in Oakland today. Greg Jennings is unemployed. Adrian abuses children. 

 

For teams like Minnesota. Things always look their brightest right before they go pitch black. 

Hey Clay, welcome to Minnesota!

 

I'm CASEY, Clay's brother.

 

Oh ****.

Clay won't be there for at least 3 more years

Everyone loses....

Boris- That dude in the article has no clue about PR 101

Peterson has all the leverage and the vikes and 31 other teams know it

They'd have to be viking-stupid to get into a public battle with him

 

the only option is a trade, otherwise Peterson blows up their locker room and goes scorched- earth on a team trying to build and fill a new stadium and groom a new QB

 

Peterson is the past, trade him and move on. The vikes will screw it up, that much is certain